I dunno, I felt like posting a little. A little lost and confused a tthe moment, but then, hard news does that.

A friend of mine killed herself last night. Was she my best friend? No. Was she a really good friend? No. But she WAS a friend. And so I sit, in a dazed bit of a stupor, watching people who hated her, who told her that she was a worthless disgusting person pbecause of what she was, try and pretend that they were her best friend. That they just loved her. All so they can try to play the victim in her suicide.

It has been said, that grieving is a selfish thing to do. That you only grieve because YOU miss them, because YOU wanted them around. Well you know what? I do miss her, and wish she was around, but I will not let her freedom from her prison make my life a darker place.

She was not at home in her body. She was trapped...imprisoned in a body that wasn't truly hers. Why she did it, I can only speculate, but she is no longer suffering. She'd had a hard life, and at times she did some very unsavory things, but who doesn't? I will NOT sit and pretend someone was all perfect just because they died. She was human, a real person, not some porcelain angel that only exists in fairytales.

She was real. She was in essence good. She wasn't perfect. But she was a friend...even if I couldn't trust her from time to time with certain topics. And she was more of a woman than anyone gave her credit for, even herself.

-raises a pint- Rest well, friend, may we meet again one day.